I recently had the privilege of speaking at Hard Rock Cafe in Memphis, TN. It was the location for my dear friend, Gwendolyn Turner’s 1st official fundraiser for her transitional housing facility. The Corinthian Safe House will be a safe haven for women and families fleeing domestic violence. It’s has a tentative date of operation of December, 2016. Gwen asked if I would share a few words about my personal journey and the need for housing for survivors in our community.
It was a great opportunity for me to share about my struggles with solidifying housing for myself and my children when I left my abuser. It’s not easy finding housing, especially when your credit is not that great, resources are limited, transportation is a challenge and you are dealing with the emotional and/or physical trauma of abuse. I was able to share how everything I just mentioned were barriers for me. I was able to share how those same issues are a constant problem for many of the survivors I’ve spoken to. And, having worked specifically as a Victim Advocate for Shelby Co., I spend a lot of time talking with victims and survivors first hand. Housing was often listed as a top priority. I conducted a survey recently among advocates and survivors of abuse. Housing was the one barrier that was listed as a priority at a rate of 100%.
I am hopeful that Gwen’s date of operation becomes a reality. It looks very promising. It is certainly needed. I will be there for the ribbon cutting. If you’re in the Memphis, TN area, I encourage you to join us. Be on the look out for additional information.
This weekend, I had the opportunity to speak at a monthly forum called The Mental Discussion. Hosted by Mental Health Therapist Brandy Flynn, the purpose is to bring community awareness on issues related to mental health as well as the various intersections. This month, she wanted to address the intersections between mental health and domestic violence.
While I touched on several points, the most significant one I want to share in this blog is that of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. As described by the US Dept of Veteran Affairs, PTSD is a mental health problem that can occur after a traumatic event such as war, assault or disaster. So often, many of us only think of PTSD as a condition exclusive to war veterans. Before I had a true understanding of PTSD, I made the same assumption. As I began to learn more about myself on the survivor’s side of abuse, I realized that there were certain images made me nervous to the point of hand tremors and even insomnia. There are certain movies I cannot watch and conversations for which I cannot participate. I used to think that something was wrong with me. I mean, after all, it’s just a movie or it’s just a conversation. I believed that I needed to just accept that and get over it.
PTSD is very real for anyone who has gone through a traumatic experience. It becomes active when a person is exposed to certain triggers. They are different for everyone. For some, it may be gunfire which reminds them of a traumatic experience in their lives. For others, it may be a particular genre of music. It’s important to let your doctor or counselor know if you think you may be suffering from PTSD. They will be able to discuss the signs and options for help.
It is my honor to facilitate Girls Night Out on Domestic Violence for a 5th year. The 1 hour program is designed to bring awareness to teen girls and women about domestic violence. And, to allow for an unfiltered conversation about dv, sexual assault and teen dating violence.
In 2012, I was asked to serve as a co-facilitator for this event. It is hosted by the Whitehaven Public Library in Memphis, TN. It was believed that the area would benefit from having an intimate discussion with young ladies about domestic violence. Since the initial event, I’ve been doing it solo. It continues to be one of the most enjoyable events that I participate in. I learn as much for the attendees as they say they learn from me.
The event is FREE to attend, and if you or someone you know is in the Memphis, TN area, please make plans to attend. It’s for teens and women only. For more information, please contact me or call the Whitehaven Public Library at (901) 415-2781.
I just wanted to take a quick moment to acknowledge my 2 year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband, Jason. People often ask me how I gained enough trust in someone to allow them into my heart after having dealt with abuse. I dedicated an entire chapter of my book, Restoring the Whole in My Soul to our story because I felt that others needed to see and know that love after abuse is possible, and the HOW it happened wasn’t a fairy tale knight in shining armor type of story. It’s about real people who established a friendship which set the foundation for love, trust and understanding on a holistic level.
I absolutely love my husband for helping me to grow, trust, love and pursue my dreams. He encourages me to go further, push harder, dig deeper and explore infinite possibilities. He helped me to develop a business brand, a nonprofit and a confidence to share my knowledge and experiences in a way that is both professional and personable. I have never felt more safe, secure and encouraged in a relationship. I not only speak and train about healthy relationships, micro enterprise, personal development and life after abuse. I live it daily. It’s evident in the way I carry myself. It’s evident in my conversations. It’s given my family, friends and colleagues an opportunity to see my growth. I am grateful for this phase of my journey and all of the wonderful adventures that my husband and I will share for years to come.
I am honored to share that I am one of 16 women who was selected to participate as a L.E.A.P. Cohort 3 Fellow.
About L.E.A.P. (information taken directly from the www.calcasa.org website).
California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA), in partnership with Women of Color Network (WOCN, Inc) has established the Leadership Education and Advancement for Professionals (LEAP) Project. LEAP’s primary purpose is to enhance the professional skills of individuals of color seeking professional advancement in the anti-violence against women field.
The goals of the LEAP Project are to:
Build upon and enhance the professional capacity of women of color (WOC) executive directors, directors and senior managers in anti-violence against women programs.
Create a community of support and professional network for emerging WOC executives and management leaders, aimed at reducing isolation, maximizing skills development, information-sharing, and communication.
Optimize the success and effectiveness of emerging WOC leaders by providing opportunities to impact spheres of influence and communities through “Pay it Forward” activities.
The LEAP Project is designed to provide an intensive interactive, distance learning and in-person, comprehensive training and practicum experience. As a cohort member, LEAP Fellows will develop and enhance leadership and management skills to enable to take upon and succeed in leadership/management roles in their organizations and in the anti-violence against women field.
