I’m super excited to say I was just featured on Mogul, an online publication. I’m featured in it’s Love and Relationships section. Thank You, Heartbreak is an awesome article written by Chelsea Leigh Trescott. I would love for you to read it. Feel free to leave a comment and give it an upvote! https://onmogul.com/stories/thank-you-heartbreak-spotlighting-creatives-11
I had the privilege of being able to share a few insights as an invited guest for the Culturally Relevant Victim Centered Approaches training in Nashville, TN. It was hosted by the Women of Color Network, Inc. out of Pennsylvania. I’m a graduate of the LEAP Cohort 3 Fellows program WOCN developed along with CALCASA (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault). While I’m glad to have had the opportunity to share my perspective from a personal as well as professional perspective, I learned a great deal of useful information & a deeper appreciation for the need for such programs to be implemented and discussed on an ongoing basis.
One of the most interesting parts about the training was our discussion on biases and the exercises we did surrounding those biases. There were some attendees who were a bit uncomfortable. I think it’s a good thing. In order to better understand how to effectively assist victims and survivors, we must be honest with ourselves about how we view people as well as how we view ourselves when interacting with them.
I am hopeful to have the chance to facilitate training on this subject and will be pushing for agencies, businesses and anyone working with abuse survivors to take part in the discussion. I believe it will also prove to be helpful for personal development and the ability to work more efficiently with staff/fellow co-workers.
Last week, I had the opportunity to speak multiple nights for Family Vacation Bible School which was hosted by Nigerian Seventh Day Adventist Church in Lithonia, GA. The organizers were very intentional about wanting to make sure parents were given information on a variety of subjects. Financial literacy, nutrition and healthy relationships were among the topics discussed. I am glad to have had the opportunity to discuss children and safety one night and domestic violence a 2nd night.
It is very important to me that we address child sexual abuse and molestation with our children as well as domestic violence at an early age. I’ve discussed both topics a number of times in church settings. However, this was the first time I’ve ever done it at a vacation bible school, and I think it’s great! Many of our communities are saturated with places of worship. I truly believe it’s a perfect place and opportunity for awareness, education and support. The parents were interactive and asked a lot of questions. Each time I’m able to present is an honor, and I’m extremely grateful to everyone responsible for having me attend what was an outstanding vacation bible school for the children as well as the parents.
I posted this picture on facebook in November, 2008. I think I look pretty cute in it! It was part of a photo shoot I participated in for JD Westbrook photography. I was even featured on a flyer to promote his business. It was different and fun to do. As I write this, I’m not even sure if Mr. Westbrook is still in the photography business. I will have to check, so I can thank him for capturing this moment for me for a reason that neither of us considered when it was taken. This picture was taken approximately four months after I left my abusive marriage for good. Knowing what I now know about abuse, I understand that abuse doesn’t ‘look’ the way many of us perceive it to be.
Physical abuse is probably the easiest to recognize because, well, it’s visible. You see the black eyes and broken teeth. You see the bruises and dislocated arms. The various news outlets show us the physical side of abuse on a daily basis. But, what you don’t see nearly as often is the other types of abuse. Abuse can be emotional, sexual, financial, ritual, religious and psychological. It knows no race, color, religion, sexual orientation, educational background or social status.
Now, when I took this picture, I still hadn’t really considered the fact that what I had been experiencing was abuse. In my mind, I still only considered physical abuse to be the only ‘real’ abuse. We didn’t have physical altercations. I left because I was tired of me and my children being in an unhealthy and unstable environment. It wasn’t until I was encouraged to go to counseling that I realized that I had been abused in ways that have taken me years to come to terms with. The picture you see is a reflection of a college educated woman with a county job and involved in her community. It also represents a woman who was holistically broken and unsure of herself.
What I hope the picture does is show you there is no ‘look’ to a person dealing with or overcoming domestic abuse. The physical scars are what you notice first. But, if you look and listen a bit more closely, you’ll discover more individuals have been or currently going through abuse and may not even know it. And, as it was revealed to me in my own life, you may further discover that the one having gone through or going through the abuse is you! When I saw the picture and noticed the date, I almost cried. It is a true example of what it means to not look like what you’ve been through.
June is nationally recognized as Pride Month. It’s an opportunity to recognize and show a solidarity of support for the LGBT community. Men and women who lost their lives due to HIV/AIDS and hate crimes are remembered. What started as a Gay Pride Day has grown tremendously. Unfortunately, the LGBT community deals with domestic violence with less support and resources. There is still a lot of debate centered around gay marriages, transgender bathrooms and an overall respect for one to live his or her life in the way that’s most comfortable. Even though there are a number of barriers which still need to be addressed, I’ve seen a positive surge of help, hope, support, acceptance and most of all, love over the years.
Nationally, we as a society just paid tribute to the 49 lives lost last year at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, FL. It was a senseless crime carried out based on a foundation of hate. The way the family members and friends have come together after this tragedy has definitely been inspiring. It is my hope as we continue to address the many intersections of domestic violence that we include and enforce tougher laws on hate crimes and provide more inclusive means to support ALL communities in need of services. Abuse knows no boundaries and neither should service providers or elected officials when it comes to providing resources and holistic support.