by Joyce Kyles | Dec 8, 2015 | Blog
Sometimes, our goals are just too broad. Who wouldn’t enjoy a six figure income, great home, multiple cars, fabulous clothes, exotic vacations, a happy relationship with family, friends, husbands, wives, etc.? While having faith is important, it’s honestly just not enough. You’ve got to put in the work. But, what exactly are you working on? What does work actually look like in terms of your needs, wants and desires in your personal and professional life? Work consists of planning your work and working your plan. Be prepared to work mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Be prepared for some long, disheartening and disappointing days and nights. You will question yourself. You will question others. Set some goals for your day, week, month and year. And, yes, set some goals by the hour.
I believe that the more you micro-manage your goals by the hour, the more clarity it will provide you with what needs to be tweaked as you strive towards your longer ranged goals. In fact, if you truly practice discipline and consistency, what goals could you set for yourself in 30 minute increments? Think about it. If we can find ways to cook meals in 30 minutes or less, why can’t we find ways to plan daily activities/routines that will holistically change our lives at 30 minutes at a time? I have some great strategies on accomplishing this, and if you’re reading this and want to learn more, I’m more than happy to help you put this strategy in motion.
In terms of domestic violence, those who are being victimized tend to think broadly. They are thinking about the leaving part. Those that love them are thinking about the leaving part. Oftentimes, just leaving is too broad of a concept to grasp. Or, it may not be feasible to do so for any number of reasons from financial to safety concerns. Again, there are a number of strategies that can and should be put in place to ensure that the holistic outcome is safe, realistic and tangible. Acknowledge that you need help and support with your personal and professional aspirations and be open to the suggestions you receive. Take each day as it comes with the belief that goals serve as a blueprint to achieving holistic success.
by Joyce Kyles | Dec 4, 2015 | Blog
I have often said that I enjoy being invited to any party but a pity party. I may decide to stop by and check it out for a few minutes Like and . However, I will never take off my coat or have a seat. I am not interested in making myself comfortable. Life is to be lived and enjoyed. When it’s not treating you fairly, or even if your experiences are in some way self inflicted, at what point do you stop pouting? I offer three other p’s to consider: pray, persevere and praise.
Pray: I truly believe that everyone needs to have some sort of spiritual foundation and be intentional about tapping into that foundation daily. It has truly been a saving grace for me. Read a bible, Q’uan, Daily Bread or any countless number of books from pastors or spiritual advisers from around the world. Practice daily and consistent prayer, meditation and chanting. Speak about the things that trouble you and express your needs, wants and desires. Pray for peace of mind, clarity and guided direction.
Persevere: You have to find ways to push through life’s frustrations, whatever they may be. I know that can be easier said than done, but it must be done. Focus on your why. I’ve talked about this before. Your why is the fuel that keeps you going when nothing else seems to matter. Money is a great motivator, but be specific about the money. For me, it was me verbalizing that I need money to pay my rent because I was tired of seeing eviction notices on my door every month. My children not having school uniforms or us not having transportation. My why continues to be all about stability. I don’t want to ever find myself worrying about what I’m going to eat or where I’m going to lay my head. So, I push though. I make the uncomfortable phone calls. I ask for support. I stay up late and get up early. I am consistent.
Praise: Be thankful for your experiences. I can assure you that someone wishes they had what you’re dealing with. I’ll take it a step further and say that you don’t want other people’s problems. Find ways to celebrate where you are, what you have, what you’ve done, who’s been there for you, etc. When you can find (sometimes it’s not as easy as others) the positives, it allows you to redirect your focus on what you need to do to change your situation. You’ll remember that person, place or thing that will give you just the push you need and recognize that as long as you have breath, you have life.
by Joyce Kyles | Nov 23, 2015 | Blog
Life is full of adversities. For some, it’s domestic violence. For others, it may be poverty, illness or financial instability. And while each one is not unique on the surface, it is unique in how it affects your life and those around you. What I have learned is that no matter what life brings your way, you must find a way to still get up and keep going. You must find a way to show up and be present. Time will not wait. Life will continue to go forward and doesn’t stop because you’re going through crisis.
So, how do you show up? How do you keep going when it’s so much easier at times to just give up and give in? You ask for help. You put pride aside. You find a ‘why’ and stay focused on it. You stop worrying about what other people think. Ask yourself if other people’s thoughts are paying your bills, taking you to work, putting food in your refrigerator or encouraging you to give this day the best that you have to offer. Has pride put you in touch with health clinics and support groups who may offer assistance with the necessary treatment you need? Chances are, it hasn’t. Be clear about what you need and understand that faith without works is dead. Your ‘why’ has to be bigger than your unknown fear of failure. You have to have a confidence in your ‘why’ that is so strong that it propels you to work hard and smart.
Each day, we must do our very best to show up and do what we need to do in our personal and professional lives. Some days are easier than others. The key is in the mindset. Sometimes our physical health prohibits us from movement, but we must keep our minds strong. We must stay connected to positive people, music and literature. We must speak a positive affirmation over our lives daily and create tangible items that will keep us focused. It may be a vision board, keeping a journal or a computer/phone screen saver. Move away from social media a bit and show up in other platforms that may be more encouraging and engaging. Pray, meditate and concentrate daily. Be intentional in your plans to show up and make it a great day.
by Joyce Kyles | Nov 7, 2015 | Blog
I had the opportunity to serve as a panelist for the Connecting the Dots to End DV Conference that took place at Abundant Grace Fellowship Church. It was hosted by the Healing Grace Counseling Services ministry of the church. I also provided the closing remarks for the program with the topic of ‘Now What’, which happens to fall in alignment with one of my signature talks. The panelists included everyone from the police department, members of the clergy, counseling and mental health services. The point of the conference was to provide information for all walks of the community, with the goal of ‘connecting the dots’ for those who may be going through abuse to see and know that options and support are available in all areas that they may encounter.
One of the biggest reasons that I was honored to participate in this event is that the focus was keeping the conversation of domestic violence going after October. That is something that’s very important to me. In a previous blog, I shared about writing an article for The Memphis Flyer entitled From Awareness to Action. In it, I shared my thoughts about the necessity of taking the information that we gain in October and using it to educate and assist victims of abuse all year long. I was also impressed with the fact that they had a special segment just for teens.
I sincerely thank Paris Ducker who asked me to take part in the conference and for everyone who embraced me and my insights.
by Joyce Kyles | Oct 20, 2015 | Blog
I’m extremely honored to have been selected as the Mommy Maven of the week for the week of 10/8/15! So, just what is The Mommy Maven? It was founded in 2011 by LaTersa Blakely as an outlet to provide stay home mothers and mom entrepreneurs with useful content on how to balance having successful homes and businesses. The articles, tips, videos, etc. are outstanding. And, while all of my children have just crossed over the adulthood threshold, I was able to share my insights on how and why I started my journey of writing, speaking and training, the impact it had on me as a mother and some tips for those who may be starting out!
I’m attaching the link here and hope that you’ll take a few moments to read it. http://momswearingmultiplehats.com/
Sometimes, our goals are just too broad. Who wouldn’t enjoy a six figure income, great home, multiple cars, fabulous clothes, exotic vacations, a happy relationship with family, friends, husbands, wives, etc.? While having faith is important, it’s honestly just not enough. You’ve got to put in the work. But, what exactly are you working on? What does work actually look like in terms of your needs, wants and desires in your personal and professional life? Work consists of planning your work and working your plan. Be prepared to work mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Be prepared for some long, disheartening and disappointing days and nights. You will question yourself. You will question others. Set some goals for your day, week, month and year. And, yes, set some goals by the hour.
