Adult Accountability and Teen Dating Violence

Adult Accountability and Teen Dating Violence

lylasFebruary is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month. It is the time that we, as a society, should be making a conscience effort to educate and inform our teens about the importance of establishing healthy relationships, setting boundaries, knowing the signs of abuse and what to do if you find yourself in an abusive situation.

The problem is, in my opinion, we still have too many adults who are not aware that this month has been set aside for such a purpose. We still have too many adults who don’t quite understand abuse themselves, and therefore, simply cannot educate young people about it. There are too many adults that are still living in their own fear of their abuser, what people will think of them if they tell anyone about being abused (past or present) or struggling with their own lack of self esteem and self worth. I was one of those adults. I always knew that I didn’t want my children to be in unhealthy relationships, but I wasn’t providing them with a positive role models. Nor did I spend as much time as I should have in seeking them out. Although we’ve worked through a lot of our individual and collective hurts regarding the aftermath of abuse, it is still something that I regret.

Thankfully, I am a different person, and I have been able to speak to teens and tweens about abuse and reassure them that it’s not their fault, talk to someone they trust and that help/resources are available. What I enjoy most is talking with the parents and the children at the same time. It gives me the opportunity to in turn, tell the parents to BE the person that their child CAN talk to and trust, face their own fears, leave the unhealthy relationship and know that help and resources are available for them as well as their children. I also like to remind people that they are talking to young people, so if it’s difficult for you to know what direction to take, consider that it’s that much more difficult for a child.

Be sure to search for programs that mentor teens and find out if domestic violence/teen dating violence is covered in their programs. If not, then make the suggestion to have it included. I welcome the opportunity to provide insights that will assist in making our young people feel safe and educated.

Transcend 2016 Telesummit Highlights

Transcend 2016 Telesummit Highlights

My TranscendI had the privilege of taking part in a very well put together telesummit entitled Transcend 2016: Connect, Express, Relate and Grow. It was hosted by Jennifer Tagaki of Jennifer Tagaki Co. and she was very intentional about putting together a group of women who specialized in specific areas of health, wellness and financial literacy. The result? A week long telesummit filled with great information and presented by knowledgeable, passionate and engaging women. In addition to being provided great information via telephone, each speaker provided freebies to everyone who signed up. Everyone who tuned in was able to hear and receive the tools they needed to holistically succeed.

My topic was entitled Walking Into A New Life: Overcoming Abuse. WIANL is also the name of my nonprofit organization. It is my belief that you have to have the proper mindset to do anything, so if you’re being mentally tormented, it will be very difficult to concentrate on the other aspects of your life. We must not just concern ourselves with our physical health. Time and attention must be devoted to our mental health as well. WIANL’s mission is to stop domestic violence and help stabilize victims through a series of projects, programs and initiatives that we host throughout the year. Don’t ever feel the need to be in a hurry when it comes to getting over abuse. It is a process and everyone will need to do it at their own pace. But, with the right guidance and tangible resources, it is possible to live a holistically happy and healthy life. I am honored to have been able to share my insights with those in attendance.

Marketing Yourself with Minimal Funds

Marketing Yourself with Minimal Funds

empty walletIn an ideal world, who wouldn’t want to have unlimited funding available to promote their products and services? After all, there’s approximately 7 billion people in the world. But, in the realistic business world where many upstarts (and even those who’ve been in business for awhile) may find themselves financially challenged, one must be strategically creative in how they go about marketing on a budget for maximum benefit. Here are a few ideas that may help when you have minimal to no additional funds for marketing yourself:

1. Utilizing social media/social sites. Every week, there seems to be another social media platform that can be used for exposure. While Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn continue to be among the front runners, social outlets such as Pinterest, Blab, Instagram and Periscope are quickly being recognized as useful and effective forms of reaching potential clients and supporters around the globe. The best part-all of these platforms are absolutely free.

2. Partner/Collaborate. There are two types of people to partner/collaborate with-those within your field and those completely opposite of it. Both will allow you to have a meeting of the minds to share ideas and be exposed to new audiences. Remember, even those who share similar skills will likely have their own niche, which is also true for you. And, those who operate in a completely different field may be connected to those that are in need of your services and vise versa.

3. Ask for help. Think about those who may have tangible resources that you could borrow or have donated to you for your particular business. Tangible resources could be anything from cash to office space and supplies. Consider those who you admire who may be able to offer some advice. You never know who may be willing to help if you don’t take a leap of faith and just ask.

How the 7 Principles of Kwanzaa Inspired My Holistic Journey

How the 7 Principles of Kwanzaa Inspired My Holistic Journey

RGB Kwanzaa 2013Let me start by saying that I’m not trying to convince anyone of celebrating Kwanzaa anymore than I would tell someone to celebrate Christmas, Halloween, Easter or anything else. I believe that everyone should acknowledge every holiday and it’s rituals/traditions as it relates to their own personal values and beliefs. Having said that, I have come to have a real appreciation for Kwanzaa over the years. As this year is coming to a close, I find myself being more intentional about ensuring that I’m learning more about myself as a black woman in society, what I have to offer, what is being accepted/rejected and how my work plays a positive role in my community and society as a whole. I encourage everyone who reads this to at least think about the seven principles and if what you’re doing is helping or hurting your personal and professional path for holistic success and prosperity.

Umoja-Unity; Kujichagulia-Self Determination; Ujima-Collective Work and Responsibility; Ujamaa-Cooperative Economics; Nia-Purpose; Kuumba-Creativity and Imani-Faith

*Pictured is me after receiving the Kujichagulia award from RBG Entertainment as part of their 2013 Kwanzaa Pageant, which is a wonderful program hosted each year to showcase the beauty and talent of children.

Resolutions: An Excuse for Procrastination?

Resolutions: An Excuse for Procrastination?

resolutionsEvery year around this time, I see so many people making plans for what they wish to accomplish for the new year. Some people want to lose a certain amount of weight. Some want to start an exercise program. Some want to write a book, begin speaking, start a radio show or new business.

Why wait until the new year start doing what you want and need to do now? I’ll be completely transparent in saying that I love to eat, and I’m especially partial to sweets. The holidays provide an opportunity for some of the best cakes, pies and cobblers imaginable. Macaroni and cheese, smoked turkey, dressing…I could go on and on. I know I need to exercise. I know I need to eat in moderation. Yet, I tell myself that it’s ok to indulge. And, there’s no need to exercise because it’s counterproductive if I’m going to just overeat anyway. I’ll just start next week. Until last week, next week had been going on for nearly 4 months.

So, what’s the REAL reason that you haven’t started exercising or written that book yet? Are you afraid? Don’t have enough discipline? Don’t know how to get started? You don’t need to make a resolution. You need to start now with the mental preparation. You need to start now with establishing discipline. You need to make your goals short, simple and realistic. Put pride aside, ask questions, study those who are already doing what you aspire to do and be willing to practice discipline and consistency. If you can’t do these things now, don’t expect much success in them happening just because the year changes.

The benefit of starting now is that it already gets you on track for the new year, so that you’re already ahead of the game. You may even find that what you were putting off for later may not even be necessary. If there are legitimate barriers that keep you from doing certain things at this time, then by all means, wait until it is feasible. But, for those situations that are within your control, take action and start now.