This weekend, I had the opportunity to speak at a monthly forum called The Mental Discussion. Hosted by Mental Health Therapist Brandy Flynn, the purpose is to bring community awareness on issues related to mental health as well as the various intersections. This month, she wanted to address the intersections between mental health and domestic violence.
While I touched on several points, the most significant one I want to share in this blog is that of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. As described by the US Dept of Veteran Affairs, PTSD is a mental health problem that can occur after a traumatic event such as war, assault or disaster. So often, many of us only think of PTSD as a condition exclusive to war veterans. Before I had a true understanding of PTSD, I made the same assumption. As I began to learn more about myself on the survivor’s side of abuse, I realized that there were certain images made me nervous to the point of hand tremors and even insomnia. There are certain movies I cannot watch and conversations for which I cannot participate. I used to think that something was wrong with me. I mean, after all, it’s just a movie or it’s just a conversation. I believed that I needed to just accept that and get over it.
PTSD is very real for anyone who has gone through a traumatic experience. It becomes active when a person is exposed to certain triggers. They are different for everyone. For some, it may be gunfire which reminds them of a traumatic experience in their lives. For others, it may be a particular genre of music. It’s important to let your doctor or counselor know if you think you may be suffering from PTSD. They will be able to discuss the signs and options for help.
What do you need today? Do you need a word of encouragement? Are you looking for opportunities to collaborate? Have you been thinking about writing a book? What about starting an exercise program? Let’s take a moment to address a strategy that may help you to get started.
Create two lists-one labeled Professional. The second labeled Personal. Write down all of the things that you need, want and desire for each list.
Examine each list and see which needs overlap one another. Chances are, the items on the list that overlap are the ones that have a significant place of priority and importance for you. Review them and create a special list just for them.
Based on your list, look for the people, places and things that will assist you with accomplishing those needs. Track your results.
Now, when you’re doing this, keep in mind that you may hear the word ‘no’ and if so, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Consider it confirmation, and move on to the next opportunity. Don’t let the fear of hearing no keep you from asking. Allow your needs to outweigh any fears, doubts or insecurities you may have. Share your needs with someone you trust and exchange ideas with them. If you do this, and do it consistently and intentionally, I feel confident that you will see the results you desire.
I go through periods of what I call valley moments. I can’t seem to concentrate. I receive far more ‘no’ responses than I’d care to share. Sometimes, the no comes in the form of no communication at all. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t seem to move ahead. I get depressed and frustrated. I know that I’m not the only person who goes through this. It’s a hard thing to admit or acknowledge that you’re struggling with something. Or, it may be several somethings. I asset where I am in my valley moments, and I know that my situation could be worse. There was a time in my life when it actually was. I recognize that there is someone going through far more challenging issues. But, my valley moments are real for me. They are important for me. They’ve seemed unbearable at times, for me. Yet, somehow, I manage to keep pushing forward and making the most of where I am.
In life, we’re all going to face valley moments in our personal and professional lives. Those moments can feel like a lifetime. I know. I’ve been there. It’s not been as long as others may think. The key to dealing with the valley moments is just that-dealing with them. Just because you’re in the valley doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. It doesn’t mean that you should give in to despair. It’s a time to reflect. It’s a time to assess the circumstances responsible for your adversity. There are some issues that are beyond your control. There are other situations that are self inflicted. Either way, you have to be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the role you played and be accepting of the aspects for which you have no control. Once you do that, the next step is to act accordingly.
The most important thing is to keep moving. The more time you allow yourself to dwell on the negative aspects of the valley, you’re unable to recognize the positives. You never know how much faith, strength and courage you have until you’ve been faced with a situation that challenges it. When, yes when, you make it through your adversities and reach your peak, you’ll be able to look back on what your challenges were and reflect on just how strong you really are. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop trying. Keep going-everyday. Keep pushing forward-everyday. One day, you’ll get your yes. You’ll get the clarity you need. Show up-everyday!
It is my honor to facilitate Girls Night Out on Domestic Violence for a 5th year. The 1 hour program is designed to bring awareness to teen girls and women about domestic violence. And, to allow for an unfiltered conversation about dv, sexual assault and teen dating violence.
In 2012, I was asked to serve as a co-facilitator for this event. It is hosted by the Whitehaven Public Library in Memphis, TN. It was believed that the area would benefit from having an intimate discussion with young ladies about domestic violence. Since the initial event, I’ve been doing it solo. It continues to be one of the most enjoyable events that I participate in. I learn as much for the attendees as they say they learn from me.
The event is FREE to attend, and if you or someone you know is in the Memphis, TN area, please make plans to attend. It’s for teens and women only. For more information, please contact me or call the Whitehaven Public Library at (901) 415-2781.
I’m currently a Star Consultant for Paparazzi Jewelry. I wish I’d taken my business a lot more seriously a long time ago. Now, however, I’ve hit the ground running with no intentions of looking back. If you are a person looking for a source of income, whether it be primary or secondary, I would encourage you to consider direct sales as an income source option.
I will be honest and say that there was a time when I thought that direct sales were no more than a scam by the very rich to maintain their personal level of income. It is a fact that there are some companies who operate as more of a ponzi scheme than a reputable business. But, there are many businesses around the globe that are creating wealth for thousands of people. There are many reasons to consider direct sales, but I will share the three that have been the most convincing for me, especially if you’re seeking a full time opportunity.
Flexibility: I love having the option of setting my own hours and working as little or as much as I choose to. If there’s an event or unforeseen circumstance that arises, I don’t have to go through the process of requesting time off.
No salary cap: I can make as much money as I want to. Now, the REAL key to that statement has to do with what you’re selling and how you’re selling it. Minimal effort yields minimal results. If you’re putting a lot of effort into it and not seeing the results you need to see, then you need to take a step back and do some self and product reflection. That’s a completely different post for another time. The point of this bullet is to simply point out that while many companies have a glass ceiling for growth, direct sales provides an avenue for you to potentially make millions of dollars without considering age and number of years on the job.
Love helping people: As an advocate for those affected by domestic violence and sexual assault, I love helping people feel holistically good about themselves. Having a sustainable income is a very important part of the healing process. I sell the jewelry because it makes me feel and look pretty on the outside, provides steady income and shows others that they can have the same. It provides a sense of ownership. It gives me something different and fun to do. It allows me to meet new people from all walks of life.
I’m on my way to director and beyond! Want to come with me? Click here or reach out to me in a message for more information.
