It is an honor to share another accomplishment with all of you. I have been named a 2016 Woman of Success honoree by Lori Pelzer for her annual Girl Go Be Great Women Success Soiree in Columbia, SC. There were 50 women selected around the country, so I’m truly honored that my wins have been regarded as being worthy of recognition. To learn more about Lori and the event itself, follow the link: http://loripelzer.leadpages.co/lori-pelzer/
I’m excited to have been asked to participate in the Devotional Series created by Megan Mottley. Megan is the visionary and CEO of The Glamour Girl Movement. The GGM is teaching women the benefits of getting the Ultimate Makeover. The mission is to disciple women and teach women how to disciple others.
Because of my experience and transparency regarding issues surrounding domestic violence, I was asked if I’d be interested in sharing my insights by way of monthly devotionals. There are eleven other amazing women who are contributing writers. Each of them speak in their respective areas of expertise. I am honored to have been asked. It was my pleasure to say yes! My specific devotional is featured today. Please be sure to take a read. I hope you’ll find it helpful. You can always review all of the devotionals by viewing the blog tab on the site. http://theglamourgirlmovement.com/devotions/moving-on-after-the-storm
On November 5, 2016, I hosted my organization’s 6th Annual Men’s Domestic Violence Awareness program. This year, I chose to co-host the event with our Family Safety Center. The purpose is to bring our community together to promote and encourage male involvement, mentoring, education and healthy relationships. We also make honorary presentations for male advocates, with a specific emphasis on domestic violence. I strategically host this event on the 1st Saturday following Domestic Violence Awareness month. I believe it keeps the conversation going, adding the component of showing the positive side of male advocacy and their involvement to help end violence against women.
The following week, on November 8, 2016, the U.S. Presidential election took place. After spending the weekend celebrating men who engage in efforts to eradicate violence against women, I watched in disbelief as the country voted to place a man in office whose comments about various groups, including minorities and women, have been disturbing, to say the least.
I am saddened to see that what I continue to feel and experience in my own community has come to pass in reality as a whole across our nation. The selection of our new President shows that a high level of fear, celebrity and the acceptance of ‘locker room talk’ among other issues, is alive and well. It also shows that those of us who serve in a leadership capacity have to continue pushing our local, state and national legislators to hold those accountable for establishing and/or furthering to incite the social, racial and economic injustices that have caused various minority communities to feel even less likely to trust or believe for equality and long term change.
Furthermore, it is noteworthy to mention that our President elect won based on the electoral college and not the popular vote. After researching the history of how the electoral college was formed in the first place, it appears that the voices of minorities were not part of that establishment. I’m a woman of color living in a southern ‘red’ state. I’m definitely a boots on the ground type of community leader, and yes I voted. And, while my vote DID matter in terms of my right to do so, that vote went up against a systematically strong alliance that continues to show up as a powerful, united front.
What does all of this mean for me as a minority women in leadership? It serves as a personal and professional reminder that I/we still have a lot of work to do. There are current laws that need to be examined, challenged and changed. I’m more determined to ensure that my voice and the voices of other minorities are heard, respected and protected. As a woman of color & community leader, I have an obligation to serve my community, ensure they understand their right to speak up and out regarding issues of equality and justice, and demand that tangible resources are made available to further enhance their quality of life. Hopefully, the new President will sincerely examine our country’s issues, challenges and concerns in a way that will encourage him to adopt a different perspective and work for holistic justice and equality.
I certainly hope everyone enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend overall. For many of us, it was a time well spent with family and friends. It was a time to enjoy great food, fun and fellowship with those that we love. Many of us created some wonderful memories. We also reflected on those whom we may have lost over the past year. Thanksgiving is typically thought of as just that-a time of giving thanks for all things wonderful.
I certainly did a lot of that this year. All three of my grandchildren came to our home this year, and it was certainly a joy to watch them interact with one another. My daughters now have children of their own. Their children are cousins. My youngest grandchild, a girl, is almost two years old. So, she’s at an age where she understands pretty well, speaks plenty of understandable words and has more energy than most of us! I helped to deliver each of them, and it has given my heart great joy to watch them grow up. I have two granddaughters and one grandson, which is identical to my own children. However, the boy is the oldest grandchild. My son is the youngest. The funniest part of all is that we ALL say my grandson acts exactly like my son. They haven’t always spent time around each other, so where is comes from is still a bit of a mystery in a way.
But, it’s important to be thankful for the valley moments. It’s not an easy thing to do. In fact, it can be nearly impossible at times. But, it makes us stronger. It makes us more appreciative of the peaks we enjoy. The valley puts us in a position to test our faith, accept our truth and most of all, remind us that we are human. Being human means that you’re going to make some mistakes. Everything will not be perfect. You’re going to experience hurt and loss. You’re not going to be treated fairly.
I’ve definitely had my valley moments. In fact, I’m having a bit of a valley experience even as I write this blog. What I encourage you to do is to acknowledge that you’re going through the valley. Acknowledge it to yourself and then to someone you trust. Don’t stay in the valley alone or for too long. Let someone know you’re in there so they can help you get out! There’s strength in vulnerability. Be thankful that you’re able to recognize that things aren’t where you need, want and/or desire them to be. You recognize that the situation will get better and/or you have come into an acceptance about where you are and what’s to come. When you do that, there’s a whole world of situations that you can look at and say you’re thankful-the good, the bad and the challenging.
I go through periods of what I call valley moments. I can’t seem to concentrate. I receive far more ‘no’ responses than I’d care to share. Sometimes, the no comes in the form of no communication at all. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t seem to move ahead. I get depressed and frustrated. I know that I’m not the only person who goes through this. It’s a hard thing to admit or acknowledge that you’re struggling with something. Or, it may be several somethings. I asset where I am in my valley moments, and I know that my situation could be worse. There was a time in my life when it actually was. I recognize that there is someone going through far more challenging issues. But, my valley moments are real for me. They are important for me. They’ve seemed unbearable at times, for me. Yet, somehow, I manage to keep pushing forward and making the most of where I am.
In life, we’re all going to face valley moments in our personal and professional lives. Those moments can feel like a lifetime. I know. I’ve been there. It’s not been as long as others may think. The key to dealing with the valley moments is just that-dealing with them. Just because you’re in the valley doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. It doesn’t mean that you should give in to despair. It’s a time to reflect. It’s a time to assess the circumstances responsible for your adversity. There are some issues that are beyond your control. There are other situations that are self inflicted. Either way, you have to be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the role you played and be accepting of the aspects for which you have no control. Once you do that, the next step is to act accordingly.
The most important thing is to keep moving. The more time you allow yourself to dwell on the negative aspects of the valley, you’re unable to recognize the positives. You never know how much faith, strength and courage you have until you’ve been faced with a situation that challenges it. When, yes when, you make it through your adversities and reach your peak, you’ll be able to look back on what your challenges were and reflect on just how strong you really are. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop trying. Keep going-everyday. Keep pushing forward-everyday. One day, you’ll get your yes. You’ll get the clarity you need. Show up-everyday!