I hope you will enjoy reading my recently published article featuring Bryan Stevenson and Brian Fikkert. Both men were absolutely amazing. If you’ve never had the opportunity to hear them speak, please research to find out where they may be and make plans to do so. Their knowledge and insights are profound, eye opening and thought provoking. They were the keynote speakers for Agape’s Heartlight Event. The article provides insights on who these men are, the purpose of Agape and the wonderful work they are doing in the community and beyond.
Saturday, February 10th from 1 to 3pm, I’d love to have you as my guest for What Color is YOUR Elephant? It’s an interactive look into the ‘elephant in the room’ about ourselves and what others see but don’t tell us. We’ll talk about the truths and lies we often tell ourselves and why. We’ll examine real strategies for goal setting with realistic expectations. Attendees will receive their own notebook/journal, elephant themed resources, along with food, fun and fellowship.
Pay options are 1st come, 1st serve. Paypal: joyce@joycekyles.com or Cash App:$JoyceKyles
I was nominated for an award last year regarding my book. However, the criteria for becoming a finalist was not based on popularity. I listened intently on Facebook Live as the event organizer shared her vision regarding the awards ceremony. She made one statement that has stayed with me from the moment I heard it. She said, you may be popular, but you may not be impacting the community. Her focus was centered around more than just writing a book. She wanted to know how the book was helping someone-anyone!
When asked, I was able to share how my book was being used to teach others how to heal, how to establish self sufficiency and self worth. My book was a transparent look into my life in a way that others could relate. I included realistic strategies and pages to be used as a journal. I did not win the award, but I was named as a finalist. I am honored by the acknowledgement. And, I ‘m even more honored to say it continues to serve as a guide for others.
The book is Restoring the Whole in My Soul, and it’s available as a paperback as well as an e-book. I’ve since gone on to co-author a second book. It’s entitled, You Need It, I Got It! It gave me the opportunity to showcase myself as a woman in business. And, I was able to incorporate my passion for personal development. The second book is only available as an e-book. They can all be purchased on the home page of my website, www.joycekyles.com. Get them for yourself or those you care about. I also have a workbook associated with my 1st book that is used for group sessions.
I am not interested in being popular, especially if it results in having a lesser impact on the audiences I desire to reach. I’ve never been part of the ‘in’ crowd. I’m not part of a sorority or social club. I have always maintained my love for writing, speaking and a boots on the ground spirit of giving and doing. If becoming popular provides me a platform to help more people and become more holistically sound, then I’ll certainly take it.
Like millions of others, I watched the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony. The solidarity in the room was evident. Many of the attendees wore black in support of the #metoo and #timesup movement regarding sexual assault and inequality. Among the attendees were advocates who have worked tirelessly in this effort and have gone under the radar. It was wonderful to see them on the red carpet with those who have a celebrity platform, and that platform is being used to raise awareness and push for change. Sterling K. Brown’s acceptance speech for Best Actor in a Drama series pretty much summed up how I strive to be seen. And, then there’s Oprah Winfrey. How could you NOT be moved to tears, excitement and inspiration after THAT speech? I am printing out their speeches & placing them on my wall. My voice is here to stay!
I have replayed those speeches multiple times this morning and cried each time. Why? Because I’ve been planning for weeks to write what I’m about to share. Each time I would begin to write, I would stop. I think it’s because I didn’t think at this stage of my life that it wouldn’t matter. But, over the past few months, I’ve talked with other advocates and speakers near and far. I appreciate more and more that I’m not the only one who’s gone through this or may be going through it now.
I started talking about domestic violence and sexual assault more formally in 2010. I didn’t intend to do it on a regular basis. I’d just started a web design and writing business. It included a a cause inspired idea to sell t-shirts. They were created with the intention of me selling them and donating a portion of the proceeds to a particular agency. I shared my why and put together a proposal. I also met individuals who were already working in these areas and was even invited to a meeting to learn more about other women’s organizations and the possibility of membership to one in particular. I began speaking at more events, freely sharing my story and time. Here I was, telling my story and eager to work with and support any and every body I could in the hope of helping others. I thought everyone would be excited to see this humble, brave, bold survivor share her story and be willing to fight for the cause. Talk about naive.
The truth is, the agency I wanted to work didn’t want to work with me. I was told (so keep in mind that this is hearsay) that when someone brought my name up in a meeting, the director questioned who I was and why would they want to work with me. While there was interest by at least one person, the one that mattered never got on board and never responded to my direct phone calls or emails. Needless to say, I eventually gave up on the idea, and I never chose to say anything about what I heard. One, it was hearsay, and two, I got the answer I needed when I never got an answer. Months later, I would meet the deciding individual at an event and introduce myself. The response? I know who you are, shook my hand and walked away to chat with others.
And, I never received the formal application for membership. As I talked with different women in the room, it became painfully clear that I wasn’t an affluent member of society. Being in that room made me feel like a small black woman who had a good ‘survivor story’ but that was about it. But, when I made the decision to host my first domestic violence event, I was sent an email by one of those same organizers. I was told that there were already a number of DV events going on and not wanting to have any conflicts. I was asked to tell the individual more about my plans. I didn’t respond. Instead, I went forward with my plans to host the first of what would be several events.
I’ve encountered more of the same over the years. Sadly, I still have peers, and in some cases, even friends who directly or indirectly marginalize me. They don’t see the value of my voice or the sincerity and passion for which I operate. Unfortunately, there will always be those who met me when I was coming out of my victimization and that is how they will always see me. That is not my concern. They don’t dwell in the places and spaces I strive to go. I am m not stuck in my past. I am proud of the way my past has given me strength, courage and direction.
I will keep doing the work with a smile on my face. I do it because I want to help as many people as I can to become holistically healed, self sufficient and able to speak their truth with confidence and support. I am inspired by the men and women who tell me I helped them in some way. I am forever thankful for the outpouring of love and support of those who embrace me, work with me, mentor me and share a heart to help our communities. It far outweighs the negative direct/indirect actions of a few. If I my words and actions have positively impacted others, I’m doing the right thing and for the right reasons. I came into this work with a boots on the ground mentality. My ultimate goal is to use that mentality in a way that will help to support policy regarding the intersections of domestic violence and other social justice issues. My voice isn’t going anywhere. As we enter into a new year, I’m excited about the places and spaces I plan to use my voice even more.
Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2017 exceeded your expectations. It was definitely a year of peaks and valleys for me. Overall, I am grateful, thankful and appreciative of the journey. I will share more about those in a different post.
It’s officially 2018. And, many of us have been guilty of making resolutions over the years which, in many cases, end up going unfulfilled for one reason or another. I will lose 25 lbs. I will get married. I will buy a new house or car. I will exercise more. Any of these sound familiar? They all sound great. They are usually declared with good intentions. But, intentions and implementation are two totally different things. I ask you to consider NOT making any resolutions this year. Instead, consider goal setting as an alternative.
Goal setting is not the same as making a resolution. Goal setting consists of declaring an action and then, putting steps in place to ensure you meet those goals. It’s more intentional and carries more weight. There’s more of a sense of accountability and care associated with goal setting.
When setting goals, follow the KISS method-Keep It Short & Simple. Start with one or two personal or professional goals you’d like to meet. In the past, I’ve been guilty of having very lofty goals. I have grand ideas. And, while there’s nothing wrong with that, I have to be honest with myself about my ability to effectively execute them. I had to learn how to master the small steps and learn how to build a proper foundation. Practice makes perfect. By keeping my goals shorter and more realistic to my time and flexibility, I have been to master my goals MUCH better. It has given me the confidence I needed to try something else, then something else and still…something else.lol
If you’d like to gain a bit more clarity for your personal and/or professional life, check out the Work with Me section of my website. I’d love to help you develop your book or organization or help you gain clarity and confidence.
As 2017 begins to wind down, I am thrilled to share that I’ve been featured in Huffington Post again this year. What’s so amazing about this particular feature is having the opportunity to share another side of myself. Domestic violence and sexual assault have become signatures for me and set the tone for my branding. However, the REAL foundation for what brought me to this path was in entrepreneurship and personal development.
This book has afforded me the opportunity to be mentioned in the same company with some other pretty amazing global entrepreneurs. I’m learning some awesome information from them. As I continue to build my own brand and establish my professional identity, I am proud to be able to offer a wealth of resources by way of our book. You Need It, I Got It! is helping me to strategically dominate my niche. I believe it will do the same for you. Read the article here. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/16-global-entrepreneurs-to-pay-attention-to-in-2018_us_5a2ada1fe4b022ec613b81d4
If you haven’t already, purchase your e-book today. Consider gifting a copy to a friend or colleague.
